Sunday, May 13, 2012

I've moved!

Click me for the new Kink and Other Things.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Mitt Romney- Anti-Gay Bully?


Mitt Romney outed as anti-gay bully


I think Mitt Romney is a pompous ass, for reasons that don't stem from stupid things he did to classmates 40 years ago.  We all have skeletons in our closets.  The trick is to own those skeletons before they can be used against you.  I'm not going to judge asshat Romney for what he did when he was 18, but I will judge him for not stepping up to the plate and owning his previous mistakes.  I'll also judge him for having a shitty political code now, but that's beside the point.

Images!


Ethics of Sex

Click Me For Porn

The concept behind the linked porn is a girl working a lemonade stand but standing in front of a curtain so you can't see behind her.  What customers of this lemonade stand don't see is behind the curtain there is a man doing typical porn related things to her, fucking her, vibrators, butt plugged and so on.

One of my friends linked it to me and my very first thought was "Man, I hope that this is all staged, because that concept not staged is about 4939050943 kinds of unethical."

It's unethical in the same way that not wearing panties and purposely flashing the shoe store attendant is unethical.  It's unethical in the same way that answering the door for a food delivery guy naked is.  It's unethical because people have the right to pick and choose what kinds of sex they participate in and the pizza guy and shoe store attendant didn't choose to participate in your kink or fetish, you forced it upon them and if you're decent human being, you don't force your kinks and fetishes upon other people.  Of course, that all hinges on you being a decent person, which may or may not be true.

So how do you have sex ethically?  Great question, I have answers.

-Only do sexual scenes with people who are in on it.  Assuming the producers of that porn are ethical, all of those customers knew exactly what was going on with that lemonade stand.
-If, for whatever reason your kink takes you and/or your partner outside, make sure that your kink is at least 15 feet* away from people who aren't part of it. Also, make sure that you're doing in an area that potential watchers have an easy way to leave.
-Leave your kink at home if you're going someplace children might see it.  I cannot stress this point enough.  If what you're doing will cause people to look in your direction and talk, do not do it where children might turn up.
-And, last but not least, be aware of local laws and the potential consequences of breaking them.  I'm not going to tell you not to do it because it's against the law.  Just know what you're risking when you make these decisions.

*in case you're wondering where the number for 15 feet came from.  It is arbitrary.  It is a number  I found on several kinky websites about this topic.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Myths of Slut-Shaming

Slut-shaming- the act of judging someone(typically women) based on real or perceived sexual behaviors.

Slut-shaming has one really big myth attached to it.  The first is that so called sluts do the things they do because of emotional baggage.  This is not statistically true and it's unfair to assume this is true for any population. You cannot presume to know how another persons processes life events and how those life events manifest in their personal lives.  Just because a person had a shitty childhood and happens to have lots of sexual partners, you can not assume that that person has lots of sexual partners because they had a shitty childhood.  It is never that simple.  When you assume are whatever way people are because of something that happened to them you negate just how resilient people are and that should never happen.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Where girl-power went wrong

Girl Power-Power exercised by girls; spec. a self-reliant attitude among girls and young women manifested in ambition, assertiveness, and individualism. Although also used more widely (esp. as a slogan), the term has been particularly and repeatedly associated with popular music; most notably in the early 1990s with the briefly prominent ‘riot girl’ movement in the United States (cf. RIOT GIRL n.); then, in the late 1990s, with the British all-female group The Spice Girls.


Women leaders are lacking across all walks of life.  There is a very large disparity of women in high paying job positions compared to men, as well as a disparity in women in math and science fields. So the idea of empowering girls is tempting, but what if it comes with problems.


The first problem I'd like to point out is the means that the early pushers of the girl power movement were The Spice Girls and Barbie style toys.  That's what I want.  Someone wearing next to no clothes dancing on stage telling my daughter to have girl power and/or playing with over-sexualized dolls. Sexualization of children much?


The second problem with this is that the idea of girl power is a direct contradiction to every other media message girls get.  "Don't be smart, boys don't want too much competition."  "Don't have sex, you'll be a slut." "Don't be powerful, after all a woman's place is being gentle and meek" The point is that girls receive so many damned mixed messages about the right way and the wrong way to grow up, until we rectify those mixed messages, we can't hope to smoothly transition girls into womanhood.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Marriage Equality.

I hope my generation isn't judged because we have a handful of crazies.  I hope when they teach about the bigotry GLBT people faced, that they teach more about the people and the organizations that worked against than those that worked for it.  But, most of I hope that they teach that history is important, because if you don't learn it, it will repeat itself.