Sunday, May 13, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Mitt Romney- Anti-Gay Bully?
Mitt Romney outed as anti-gay bully
I think Mitt Romney is a pompous ass, for reasons that don't stem from stupid things he did to classmates 40 years ago. We all have skeletons in our closets. The trick is to own those skeletons before they can be used against you. I'm not going to judge asshat Romney for what he did when he was 18, but I will judge him for not stepping up to the plate and owning his previous mistakes. I'll also judge him for having a shitty political code now, but that's beside the point.
Ethics of Sex
Click Me For Porn
The concept behind the linked porn is a girl working a lemonade stand but standing in front of a curtain so you can't see behind her. What customers of this lemonade stand don't see is behind the curtain there is a man doing typical porn related things to her, fucking her, vibrators, butt plugged and so on.
One of my friends linked it to me and my very first thought was "Man, I hope that this is all staged, because that concept not staged is about 4939050943 kinds of unethical."
It's unethical in the same way that not wearing panties and purposely flashing the shoe store attendant is unethical. It's unethical in the same way that answering the door for a food delivery guy naked is. It's unethical because people have the right to pick and choose what kinds of sex they participate in and the pizza guy and shoe store attendant didn't choose to participate in your kink or fetish, you forced it upon them and if you're decent human being, you don't force your kinks and fetishes upon other people. Of course, that all hinges on you being a decent person, which may or may not be true.
So how do you have sex ethically? Great question, I have answers.
-Only do sexual scenes with people who are in on it. Assuming the producers of that porn are ethical, all of those customers knew exactly what was going on with that lemonade stand.
-If, for whatever reason your kink takes you and/or your partner outside, make sure that your kink is at least 15 feet* away from people who aren't part of it. Also, make sure that you're doing in an area that potential watchers have an easy way to leave.
-Leave your kink at home if you're going someplace children might see it. I cannot stress this point enough. If what you're doing will cause people to look in your direction and talk, do not do it where children might turn up.
-And, last but not least, be aware of local laws and the potential consequences of breaking them. I'm not going to tell you not to do it because it's against the law. Just know what you're risking when you make these decisions.
*in case you're wondering where the number for 15 feet came from. It is arbitrary. It is a number I found on several kinky websites about this topic.
The concept behind the linked porn is a girl working a lemonade stand but standing in front of a curtain so you can't see behind her. What customers of this lemonade stand don't see is behind the curtain there is a man doing typical porn related things to her, fucking her, vibrators, butt plugged and so on.
One of my friends linked it to me and my very first thought was "Man, I hope that this is all staged, because that concept not staged is about 4939050943 kinds of unethical."
It's unethical in the same way that not wearing panties and purposely flashing the shoe store attendant is unethical. It's unethical in the same way that answering the door for a food delivery guy naked is. It's unethical because people have the right to pick and choose what kinds of sex they participate in and the pizza guy and shoe store attendant didn't choose to participate in your kink or fetish, you forced it upon them and if you're decent human being, you don't force your kinks and fetishes upon other people. Of course, that all hinges on you being a decent person, which may or may not be true.
So how do you have sex ethically? Great question, I have answers.
-Only do sexual scenes with people who are in on it. Assuming the producers of that porn are ethical, all of those customers knew exactly what was going on with that lemonade stand.
-If, for whatever reason your kink takes you and/or your partner outside, make sure that your kink is at least 15 feet* away from people who aren't part of it. Also, make sure that you're doing in an area that potential watchers have an easy way to leave.
-Leave your kink at home if you're going someplace children might see it. I cannot stress this point enough. If what you're doing will cause people to look in your direction and talk, do not do it where children might turn up.
-And, last but not least, be aware of local laws and the potential consequences of breaking them. I'm not going to tell you not to do it because it's against the law. Just know what you're risking when you make these decisions.
*in case you're wondering where the number for 15 feet came from. It is arbitrary. It is a number I found on several kinky websites about this topic.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Myths of Slut-Shaming
Slut-shaming- the act of judging someone(typically women) based on real or perceived sexual behaviors.
Slut-shaming has one really big myth attached to it. The first is that so called sluts do the things they do because of emotional baggage. This is not statistically true and it's unfair to assume this is true for any population. You cannot presume to know how another persons processes life events and how those life events manifest in their personal lives. Just because a person had a shitty childhood and happens to have lots of sexual partners, you can not assume that that person has lots of sexual partners because they had a shitty childhood. It is never that simple. When you assume are whatever way people are because of something that happened to them you negate just how resilient people are and that should never happen.
Slut-shaming has one really big myth attached to it. The first is that so called sluts do the things they do because of emotional baggage. This is not statistically true and it's unfair to assume this is true for any population. You cannot presume to know how another persons processes life events and how those life events manifest in their personal lives. Just because a person had a shitty childhood and happens to have lots of sexual partners, you can not assume that that person has lots of sexual partners because they had a shitty childhood. It is never that simple. When you assume are whatever way people are because of something that happened to them you negate just how resilient people are and that should never happen.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Where girl-power went wrong
Girl Power-Power exercised by girls; spec. a self-reliant attitude among girls and young women manifested in ambition, assertiveness, and individualism. Although also used more widely (esp. as a slogan), the term has been particularly and repeatedly associated with popular music; most notably in the early 1990s with the briefly prominent ‘riot girl’ movement in the United States (cf. RIOT GIRL n.); then, in the late 1990s, with the British all-female group The Spice Girls.
Women leaders are lacking across all walks of life. There is a very large disparity of women in high paying job positions compared to men, as well as a disparity in women in math and science fields. So the idea of empowering girls is tempting, but what if it comes with problems.
The first problem I'd like to point out is the means that the early pushers of the girl power movement were The Spice Girls and Barbie style toys. That's what I want. Someone wearing next to no clothes dancing on stage telling my daughter to have girl power and/or playing with over-sexualized dolls. Sexualization of children much?
The second problem with this is that the idea of girl power is a direct contradiction to every other media message girls get. "Don't be smart, boys don't want too much competition." "Don't have sex, you'll be a slut." "Don't be powerful, after all a woman's place is being gentle and meek" The point is that girls receive so many damned mixed messages about the right way and the wrong way to grow up, until we rectify those mixed messages, we can't hope to smoothly transition girls into womanhood.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Marriage Equality.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Glee Choke Recap and Review
I watched the newest episode of Glee and read some reviews and it got some heat. Imma give a quick recap so if you haven't seen the episode yet and don't want to have the episode spoiled- skip this post.
I really liked this episode. It's really realistic I think.
Rachel apparently ruining her chance for NYADA fits, I think. She's been such a star for all three seasons, I think bringing her back to earth sends a really good message that sometimes things don't happen like we'd like them to and it's really important to have a back up plan.
When I was in high school I was one test away from graduating like Puck. I failed that test. My teacher gave me a D anyway. So, let's not count Puck out of graduating on time quite yet.
Domestic violence is a huge deal, and I actually kind of love how Glee handled this. We all know the right thing to do in this situation, or if you're a bystander in this situation. The right thing involves leaving, accepting friends help, and not thinking it was your fault. Let me tell you, doing the right thing is hard, really hard. It is infinitely easier to fall back into old patterns. It's easier to fall back into old patterns until you have the moment of clarity comes. I can't wait to see what Beiste's moment of clarity is.
-Rachel and Kurt had their NYADA tryouts. Rachel forgot the words to her song and blew hers. Kurt did a fantastic job on his.
-Puck failed a geography test and it appears he won't graduate with his class.
-Beiste's husband beat her and she tells everyone that she's left him, but in reality she hasn't.
I really liked this episode. It's really realistic I think.
Rachel apparently ruining her chance for NYADA fits, I think. She's been such a star for all three seasons, I think bringing her back to earth sends a really good message that sometimes things don't happen like we'd like them to and it's really important to have a back up plan.
When I was in high school I was one test away from graduating like Puck. I failed that test. My teacher gave me a D anyway. So, let's not count Puck out of graduating on time quite yet.
Domestic violence is a huge deal, and I actually kind of love how Glee handled this. We all know the right thing to do in this situation, or if you're a bystander in this situation. The right thing involves leaving, accepting friends help, and not thinking it was your fault. Let me tell you, doing the right thing is hard, really hard. It is infinitely easier to fall back into old patterns. It's easier to fall back into old patterns until you have the moment of clarity comes. I can't wait to see what Beiste's moment of clarity is.
The Cost of Being Me
I am both a student, a feminist, and a kinky blogger who writes under an assumed name.
I turned in my last paper of the semester this morning and in that paper I pulled huge quantities of information word for word from this blog with minimal editing. After I copied and pasted the information into my paper and changed a few personal pronouns I realized that if she ran my paper through the universities anti-plagiarism system there would be one really huge chunk of perceived plagiarism, and way more little incidences of potential plagiarism. After all, I wrote my paper about many of the same things I've blogged about.
I put myself out there on this blog and have a generally good response to putting myself out there, but if push comes to shove and I have to out myself, I believe it'll be worth it. Because everything happens for a reason, and after all you never put anything out on the internet that you don't want put on your permanent record.
I turned in my last paper of the semester this morning and in that paper I pulled huge quantities of information word for word from this blog with minimal editing. After I copied and pasted the information into my paper and changed a few personal pronouns I realized that if she ran my paper through the universities anti-plagiarism system there would be one really huge chunk of perceived plagiarism, and way more little incidences of potential plagiarism. After all, I wrote my paper about many of the same things I've blogged about.
I put myself out there on this blog and have a generally good response to putting myself out there, but if push comes to shove and I have to out myself, I believe it'll be worth it. Because everything happens for a reason, and after all you never put anything out on the internet that you don't want put on your permanent record.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
What if the church*† is wrong?
*by the church I mean all churches that identify as Christian.
†The church is not capitalized because I believe that grammatical entitlements are earned, not demanded. I actually carry over the same philosophy into my kinky life.
In the gospels there isn't a whole lot of talk about the church, or building a church. Jesus mentioned the church in two verses in the Bible.** He spent far more time speaking about how to treat people than building a church. The church isn't actually a creation Jesus made and built. Rather,the church sprung up around Jesus. Sure, you could argue the Holy Spirit guided the people who actually built the church and designed the function and organization. You could also argue that Jesus never intended to start a new religion at all. None the less, the church perseveres, however it was or wasn't intended to come into being, it's here. We've established that people built the church, not Jesus himself, and I think that's super important to keep in mind for the rest of this blog post.
Why do we treat the church like it's infallible, when clearly it is not? Why do we treat the Bible as infallible, when we know that it was written by humans, who are fallible? Why are people within the church often afraid to speak up when the church is wrong and since when did uniform conformity become so important for the church to exist? Why is questioning so frowned upon in so many churches and when questions are raised, why is the answer often something circular that makes no sense if you're thinking rationally?
**Mark 16:18&18:17
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Apathy.
"but honestly.. fuck those people. i dont even acknowledge their existence. so they dont affect me"
One of my friends on douchbaggy religions.
There is a huge problem with this attitude. You should give a damn that repressive religions have a shitty moral code. You should give a damn when any given religion wants to block or change how women access health care. You should give a damn when they think that GLBTQ people aren't worth the time of day and most of all you should give a damn because they vote in massive numbers and voting in what massive numbers is what gets their agenda passed into law and your agenda put on the back burner, assuming it makes it to the burner at all.
And this is my get out and vote plug for the primaries. If you've already had the primaries in your area, I hope you voted. If you haven't done the primaries yet, learn your candidates and your polling location and get the fuck out and vote. Let's outvote the douchebags kids.
Friday, April 27, 2012
A fine example of why the catholic church sucks.
Click me for an example of a time when the catholic church should be shutting the fuck up.
The feminist in me says that the catholic church doesn't allow IVF, or any form of contraception because the advent of hormonal contraception and non-hormonal long term contraception is, in my opinion, the single biggest contributor to giving women some autonomy or agency over their sexualities.
If you want to strip women of the ability to truly plan their child bearing, something the World Health Organization says is a basic human right, then what else do you want to strip women of the right to do?
Let's just keep all the women at home with the kids and let the men do the heavy lifting and bring home the bread.
On a practical note, I don't understand the Catholic Churches opposition to IVF. It's really good for a church to have a congregation that has lots of babies
The feminist in me says that the catholic church doesn't allow IVF, or any form of contraception because the advent of hormonal contraception and non-hormonal long term contraception is, in my opinion, the single biggest contributor to giving women some autonomy or agency over their sexualities.
If you want to strip women of the ability to truly plan their child bearing, something the World Health Organization says is a basic human right, then what else do you want to strip women of the right to do?
Let's just keep all the women at home with the kids and let the men do the heavy lifting and bring home the bread.
On a practical note, I don't understand the Catholic Churches opposition to IVF. It's really good for a church to have a congregation that has lots of babies
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Men's Health Final
These questions are my men's health final. I'm going to write some comments about the reasons these are shitty final questions for any class. Check a box if you agree.
What is the implication between men and women regarding the
mortality difference among men and women?
What are the top five reasons men don’t see the doctor? You really want me to generalize all men in one question...really?
How does masculinity influence mens health and health behaviors? Way to be heteronormative woman. really. You must have missed the memo that masculinity differs from place to place and culture to culture.
Why are we studying the health belief model? Because you are a god damned idiot.
How are we going to use the precede proceed model to plan a
health program?
What are the risk factors for prostate cancer?
What would happen if you don’t eat healthy? Really. Is this final exam worthy?
What are the characteristics of a healthy relationship?
What are the barriers for men to be physically active? You really want me to generalize all men in one question...really?
Define 90/10 principles and how you’d use it?
Define 90/10 principles and how you’d use it?
How to use the four A’s to cope with life stress? Uh. what? You said yourself in class that you couldn't remember the answer to this and you expect us to remember this.
What are the reasons to use contraception? There are about 2938482 reasons to use hormonal reasons, but only a few reasons to use non-hormonal contraception. And again is this really final exam worthy?
What are the health benefits of circumcision? Whatever the health benefits they aren't worth the cost of routine circumcision.
What are the five major reasons for people to have sex? mhmm orgasms. yes orgasms.
What are five ways to prevent STIs?
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Not-rape
Not-rape= 1. when a person is sexually assaulted but it is not called rape.
This happens one of two ways typically. A) The victim of sexual assault opts not to label it as rape because they think it was somehow their fault, because they wore a low cut dress or because they didn't say no loudly enough.
B) The second way is when it looks like rape, it smells like rape, but it isn't legally rape.
I'm going to mostly talk about the second definition of not-rape in this blog post. I was reading my student paper this week and it has a graph of crimes students were charged with and had categories for "sexual assault(non-rape)" and "sexual assault(rape)" I understand why these crimes were labeled as such, that it relates to the legal definitions. However, I think that labeling sexual assault non-rape in the mass media without careful explanation is damaging.
I think that all sexual assault is traumatic and I think that when you see the details of a non-rape sexual assault, that lots of people think "oh well at least she wasn't actually raped." and the victim thinks "well thank god I wasn't actually raped." In reality sexual assault is traumatic no matter how it occurs and those thought processes only serve to belittle the trauma of sexual assault.
At best, the victim will be surrounded by caring, loving people who support the victim as they get back on their feet. They will hopefully be surrounded by people who stop these thoughts as they come and reassure the victim that they deserve and are allowed to feel however they feel post-assault. At worst, the person will be around people who say "Oh, well it isn't like he actually raped you."
This happens one of two ways typically. A) The victim of sexual assault opts not to label it as rape because they think it was somehow their fault, because they wore a low cut dress or because they didn't say no loudly enough.
B) The second way is when it looks like rape, it smells like rape, but it isn't legally rape.
I'm going to mostly talk about the second definition of not-rape in this blog post. I was reading my student paper this week and it has a graph of crimes students were charged with and had categories for "sexual assault(non-rape)" and "sexual assault(rape)" I understand why these crimes were labeled as such, that it relates to the legal definitions. However, I think that labeling sexual assault non-rape in the mass media without careful explanation is damaging.
I think that all sexual assault is traumatic and I think that when you see the details of a non-rape sexual assault, that lots of people think "oh well at least she wasn't actually raped." and the victim thinks "well thank god I wasn't actually raped." In reality sexual assault is traumatic no matter how it occurs and those thought processes only serve to belittle the trauma of sexual assault.
At best, the victim will be surrounded by caring, loving people who support the victim as they get back on their feet. They will hopefully be surrounded by people who stop these thoughts as they come and reassure the victim that they deserve and are allowed to feel however they feel post-assault. At worst, the person will be around people who say "Oh, well it isn't like he actually raped you."
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Feministy Ramblings
I sat through a presentation over mens' birth control today and the man presenting talked about a hypothetical mens birth control pill and he talked about all of these issues with it. Is it safe? Will it affect my ability to have children? If it doesn't affect my ability to have children ten years from now how will these hormones effect me? Can I remember to take this pill every single day?
He talked like women don't juggle that, or like we're somehow super heros and faux hormones don't effect us negatively or like all women are great at remembering to take the pill every single day and it was just super insulting on a very subtle level.
He talked like women don't juggle that, or like we're somehow super heros and faux hormones don't effect us negatively or like all women are great at remembering to take the pill every single day and it was just super insulting on a very subtle level.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Untitled
On really fine spring days, I can't help but think about my grandmothers' garden. It was her pride and joy and no one in the neighborhood could top it. My universities perfect flowerbeds just remind me of her.
I bet her garden in heaven, or whatever, is unbeatable.
I bet her garden in heaven, or whatever, is unbeatable.
Some random things+ Homemade Ranch Dressing
I'll do the random things first
-My asian professor kept pronouncing cholera, "chol-er-ia" in class today.
-Whenever I hear someone talk about ten years ago or fifteen years ago, I always think of the 1990's and the 1980's respectively. I almost never think of 2000's or 1990's
Homemade Ranch Dressing. I made this recently for the first time and I could never go back to bottled ranch. I use light mayo and 0% greek yogurt for my base and season to taste. Greek yogurt and mayo makes a really thick mixture, so thin it out with milk as needed as well.
It takes about 3 minutes to make with my electric mixer- which actually saves time because when I was buying ranch dressing I'd stand in the dressing aisle for no less than five minutes finding the best price/taste payoff.
Anywho that is it for today. Happy Monday!
-My asian professor kept pronouncing cholera, "chol-er-ia" in class today.
-Whenever I hear someone talk about ten years ago or fifteen years ago, I always think of the 1990's and the 1980's respectively. I almost never think of 2000's or 1990's
Homemade Ranch Dressing. I made this recently for the first time and I could never go back to bottled ranch. I use light mayo and 0% greek yogurt for my base and season to taste. Greek yogurt and mayo makes a really thick mixture, so thin it out with milk as needed as well.
It takes about 3 minutes to make with my electric mixer- which actually saves time because when I was buying ranch dressing I'd stand in the dressing aisle for no less than five minutes finding the best price/taste payoff.
Anywho that is it for today. Happy Monday!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
I have something in common with Miley Cyrus
Click me if you desire. Miley Cyrus Upskirt picture
I went to the store today in a a black knee length cotton skirt and no panties because I don't tend to wear panties in the spring/summer/fall. My foot got stuck while I was getting to my car and I probably flashed anyone in eyesight while I was unsticking my foot. Getting in and out of the car modestly in a skirt is almost impossible. I try my best, and I mostly succeed.
Bonus Point Task for my male readers: next time you get in or out of a car, do it without spreading your legs.
But here is the thing. Women like me and women like Miley, when we accidentally flash people getting in and out of cars, we're vilified no matter what. We're vilified if we wear panties, or go commando. We're vilified if we wear lacy panties, or plain cotton ones. We're vilified if we shave, trim, or do nothing at all to our pubic hair. We can't win and it isn't fair.
I went to the store today in a a black knee length cotton skirt and no panties because I don't tend to wear panties in the spring/summer/fall. My foot got stuck while I was getting to my car and I probably flashed anyone in eyesight while I was unsticking my foot. Getting in and out of the car modestly in a skirt is almost impossible. I try my best, and I mostly succeed.
Bonus Point Task for my male readers: next time you get in or out of a car, do it without spreading your legs.
But here is the thing. Women like me and women like Miley, when we accidentally flash people getting in and out of cars, we're vilified no matter what. We're vilified if we wear panties, or go commando. We're vilified if we wear lacy panties, or plain cotton ones. We're vilified if we shave, trim, or do nothing at all to our pubic hair. We can't win and it isn't fair.
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