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"   There is nothing wrong with you.

You aren’t damaged, not because of this.

The thrill you feel when the heavy sting of a hand on your cheek cuts into you isn’t indicative of some wider malaise, an underlying sickness that you can only cope with when you’re drowning in pain. That is not why you want what you want. 

You aren’t submissive because your daddy didn’t love you enough. I’m not Dominant because I’m a borderline psychopath. I didn’t pull the legs off spiders when I was a kid, and I don’t have fantasies about killing my co workers. There’s nothing wrong with me. There’s nothing wrong with you. 

This isn’t an outlet for the darkness inside of you, some fucked up shadow that you have to keep hidden when the civilised people are around. We’re not heroin addicts in the corner, getting high and getting low, and hitting rock bottom because of our addiction. This isn’t an addiction, and guilt isn’t your problem to have. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you’re not fucked up. Not you. No more than anyone else. 

Whatever issues you may or may not have, they’re not why you’re getting into D/s. They’re not why you like to be spanked, or degraded, or why you want to feel like you belong. Those are the accusing cries of those who recognize the attraction but are too cowardly to admit that to themselves. And so they lash out, and try to hit some truth somewhere. Everyone has issues. Of course they’re going to hit home eventually. Ignore them. Fuck them. You have this. You have me. They have denial. 

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re as perfect as anyone, just like this."

Amen. I could not have said it better myself. 

"who is she?"

So I told one of my friends about my date tonight and one of our mutual friends said "Who is she?"  Mostly kidding. I say mostly because I have reason to think that he thinks I'm a lesbian and that he's just waiting for me to come out of the closet.  Nope, sorry.  I like penis.  You'll be waiting a very long time.

Now that joke might have been funny if it wasn't my first date in about a year.  But it isn't you see.  Because what if i was actually a lesbian or dating a woman.  The joke my friend just made would make it 3034583905830953083409 times harder to come out and say, "actually, her name is lauren(that is if I was going on a date with a Lauren.)

So everyone enjoys making that joke when you find out a friend is dating someone new, but maybe it's counter-productive and detrimental to other people around you.

DATE!

I have a date tomorrow!  What will I wear? What shoes will I wear? How will I do my make up?  What purse will I take?

AHHHHH! my to-do list just doubled.

We don't need your Jesus.

I am a student at a large, well known, four year, public university that hails from the midwest USA.  We are nationally known for our parties and internationally known for our research and our academics.

My hometown is (regrettably) home to a small private Christian university.  It is a bigoted, homophobic, misogynistic institution.  Today they were on my beautiful college campus evangelizing to us.

Hear this.  We don't need your god.  Your god is a misogynistic, sexist, homophobic and anti-women's reproductive rights asshole and we don't want or need it our campus or in our town.  The town you call home doesn't need your god either.  Maybe your god needs a makeover or something.

BJIOGHIOHIW!

This describes my day.

funnies!

So my mother is a librarian. She's been a librarian since forever.  Her undergrad degree is in english and she has a masters in education.  She brings home about 31k a year give or take.  I have this school project and I have to interview two people one highly paid, one lowly paid.  We define the highly paid and lowly paid variables.  So this is a conversation I had with my mom today

me: So, you're gonna laugh but I need a favor.  I have this school project where I have to interview a highly paid person and a lowly paid person...and you're my highly paid person.

Mom:  How much does the lowly paid person make then?  Christ, I feel sorry for them.

BLARGH!

Class was awful.  My incompetent mens health professor made us debate the issues of sex before marriage, masturbation and prostitution.  To be very clear, I am not in favor of saving myself before marriage, and I am in favor of decriminalizing and regulating prostitution and I do very much love masturbating. 

Most memorable was the discussion over masturbation.  My instructor used a fictional student that could have been any of the girls in the room and the boys in the room girlfriends.  A 20 something coed who uses a vibrator to masturbate daily.  That’s me.  I am a 20 something coed who uses a vibrator (or three) to masturbate daily.  She started reading outdated literature that referred to masturbation as self abuse and talked about the numerous old wives tales connected to masturbation(hairy palms, going blind, ect)  and either didn’t care to or didn’t know that a student cited bad information when he said that masturbating can make (fertile) men infertile.   My instructor suggested that people who masturbate to relieve stress aren’t healthy and that there are healthier options, like going for a run. 

One particularly annoying thing that was said was "what if my partner masturbates so much that (s)he passes up sex with me?"  I've never known in my own relationships, or my friends relationships for that to happen, when the relationship was working anyway. The only times I've heard or seen that happen are when the relationship isn't working for one or both parties.  Masturbation and sex accomplish different things. Masturbation accomplishes usually accomplishes an orgasm, the completion of "me" time, and stress relief.  Having sex with a partner can be just the act of orgasming, but I think that more often it's the coming together of coupledom.  A union, becoming one or whatever.  It's an expression of how you feel towards each other. So if your partner is using, "I just masturbated." as an excuse not to have sex then it's time to look at your relationship rather than curse the evils of self pleasure.  Such an excuse used often is a symptom of a failing relationship, not the reason a relationship is failing. 

You’re teaching a class woman.  Use up to date information.  Don’t perpetuate old myths about masturbation; the catholic church does enough of that and they don’t need your help.  Teach that masturbation is generally accepted as a healthy alternative to other sexual activity.  Yeah,  you’ll have the wackos who think ALL sexual activity, including masturbating, should be saved for marriage, but fuck them.  They don’t matter.  Don’t demonize those who choose to masturbate to relieve stress. It’s as valid a form of stress relief as going for a run. 

Also in class we did a sexual values anonymous questionnaire and afterwards she asked us where we stood on specific questions.  I think that is in incredibly poor taste.  In fact, I can’t decide which is poorer in taste, demonizing masturbation or asking us to share our answers on the anonymous form. 

I think the real problem with demonizing masturbation is that by demonizing something as accepted as masturbation you shut down all the conversation to talk about other sex acts that might be beneficial to discuss.

In fact, all this talk of masturbating makes me want to go masturbate, so I'll catch you guys some other time